DAY 18: STUFFED MUSHROOMS  

       July 21, 2014

THE HUNGER JAMES OFFICIAL RATING:

Now, if you have been reading The Hunger James, you know I love a good chain restaurant. Outback, Fridays, and even Applebee’s on some occasion. I don’t know why I love chains so much. Maybe it’s because that’s all I knew in Florida, so eating at a Ruby Tuesday makes me feel nostalgic?

 

Or I just enjoy shitty food.

 

Tonight I went to my all-time favorite restaurant: The Cheesecake Factory, located in New Jersey…at a mall. Every time I go to the CF, I get the same thing: Crispy Chicken Costelleta. Firstly, because it’s delicious. Secondly, because of the alliteration.

 

But, being forced to try something new, I actually had to sit at the table and read the 18 page booklet that is their menu. Nothing really was jumping out at me (except the chicken), and I didn’t want to just get the fried macaroni and cheese because my doctor is on my case about my cholesterol or something, so I went to the Small Plates page and decided to pick out three of them, because of my uncertainty. And hunger.

I decided on the stuffed mushrooms, the pear and blue cheese flatbread, and a side of onion rings (THEY LOOKED GOOD, OK?).

Our waitress told me that the stuffed mushrooms were her favorite item on the menu. I looked at her and asked, “Even more than the cheesecakes?” but she just shrugged and said, “Huh?”

 

Never mind, Amy. Never mind.

 

We also started with the avocado spring rolls as an appetizer, which is just delicious. It’s basically fried guacamole. So, you’re welcome. When the rest of our food came, it took three separate waiters to bring me all of my entrees, which made me feel like a king and not a glutton.

 

We also started with the avocado spring

rolls as an appetizer which is just delicious.

It’s basically fried guacamole. So, you’re welcome. When the rest of our food came, it took three separate waiters to bring me all of my entrees, which made me feel like a king and not a glutton.

 

First, I took a bite of the mushrooms. They were good. Nothing really to write about (well, except for on this blog…) but I don’t think I would order them again. Then I took a piece of flatbread. Again, just good. The pears really threw me off, because with each bite I kept anticipating the taste of a granny smith apple. But pears are kind of gross. And mixed with the crumbled blue cheese, it was just an odd pairing of flavors.

Lastly, the onion rings, which were perfect. Served in the form of a volcano, each ring was more buttery and fried and delicious as the previous one. And dipped in ranch dressing? Forget about it.

 

Now, I know what you are all wondering out loud: Did you get a piece of cheesecake?!?!

 

Of course I did, you fools. I got a piece of cheesecake to go and enjoyed it at 1am on the R train. Because I am classy.